Dienstag, Juni 19, 2007

Mit Hoffnung


It’s time to say goodbye, fast jedenfalls. Wir schreiben heute den 19. Juni 2007, ein schöner Tag ist es, mit Ferienvorgefühlen, Eis in der Sonne und dicken Mückenstichen als Sommerbeweise. Es ist auch der Tag zehn Nächte vor dem Abflugsdatum.
Mein Zimmer zeigt noch kaum Anzeichen für einen Auf- und Abbruch, eine große Reisetasche steht zwar in der Mitte aber sonst ist fast alles wie immer. All die Postkarten hängen noch an der Wand, Bücher stehen im Regal, Klamotten warten darauf in den Schrank einsortiert zu werden.
Es gibt einen Gegenstand, der die kommende Reise und Veränderung wohl am besten symbolisiert: Hier auf meinem Schoss in meinem weichen Bett steht mein Laptop, um etliche Gigabyte erleichtert und darauf wartend morgen pünktlich um halb neun in der Schule abgeliefert zu werden. Er wird in den Kreis der etlichen Schul-Pcs eingehen, Nummer 748, 10 Monate Hauptkommunikationsmittel nach Hause.
Zwar gibt es hier noch einen stationären PC im Büro gleich hier auf der Etage, und den werde ich auch sicher noch das ein oder andere Mal benutzen, aber dies wird wohl doch mein letzter Eintrag sein.
Wow, schon das zu schreiben ist komisch. So um die 50 Einträge habe ich hier in Norwegen verfasst, und sicher doppelt so viele Kommentare bekommen. Dafür an dieser Stelle ein Danke, sie waren ein schöner Beweis dafür dass an mich im Norden aus dem Süden manchmal Gedanken kommen. Und Ermutigung immer fleißig weiter zuschreiben.
Ein großes Danke muss wohl sowieso an viele Menschen gehen, was wurde ich unterstützt! Für all die finanziellen Stützen von Omas und anderen lieben Menschen habe ich mich hoffentlich schon artig und schnell bedankt, aber was wäre ich wohl ohne die anderen Geschenke gewesen? Wenn ich euch beschreiben könnte, was für eine Freude es machen kann den grünen Briefkasten zu öffnen und zwischen den Zeitungen einen Brief zu finden, wie gut es tut eine voll gekritzelte, öfter sogar unglaublich kreativ selbstgebastelte Postkarte zu erhalten, oder wie toll auch eine einfache Email sein kann, dann wäre ich wohl fähig mit Worten große Gefühle einzufangen.
Danke.

Wen ich auf die letzten zehn Monate zurück schaue, dann sehe ich aber auch Dinge mit denen mir keiner helfen konnte. Manche davon habe ich stolz alleine bewältigt, bei anderen musste ich einsehen dass es mehr bedarf als das was ich aufbringen konnte. Sei es Kraft, sei es Mut oder sei es Engagement.
Ich will ja nicht kitschig werden, aber ich hoffe wirklich dass mich jede einzelne dieser Klippen hat wachsen lassen, mir etwas mitgegeben hat.

Dieser letzte Bericht soll nicht mit Wehmut und Traurigkeit, sondern ebenso wie die ersten mit Hoffnung geschrieben sein. Mit der Hoffnung, dass ich es schaffe all die guten Dinge mitzunehmen, Gedanken, Gefühle, Traditionen, Erinnerungen und so vieles mehr. Ich hoffe auch darauf dass meine neuen Freundschaften halten dass alte Freundschaften an der langen Trennung nicht gelitten haben.
Ich will nicht, dass alles ist wie vorher – wo wäre dann der Sinn der Sache?
Hoffnung ist immer auch ein wenig Angst – Hoffnung bedeutet schließlich dass man sich einen bestimmten Weitergang eines Weges wünscht, aber nicht sicher ist dass der Weg diesen Verlauf nimmt sondern anders gehen könnte. Meine Ängste sind meistens wenig, aber es gibt sie wohl.
Ach, genug davon.
Alles ein wenig tullprat, würde man hier sagen. Auch auf die Gefahr hin euch zu langweilen mit alten Wiederholungen oder einfallslos zu wirken, muss hier noch einmal Hesse seine oft zitierten Worte leihen:

Stufen

Wie jede Blüte welkt
und jede Jugend dem Alter weicht,
blüht jede Lebensstufe,
blüht jede Weisheit auch und
jede Tugend

zu ihrer Zeit und darf nicht ewig dauern.


Es muss das Herz bei jedem Lebensrufe
bereit zum Abschied sein und Neubeginne,
um sich in Tapferkeit und ohne Trauern
in and're, neue Bindungen zu geben.
Und jedem Anfang wohnt ein Zauber inne,
der uns beschützt und der uns hilft zu leben.


Wir sollen heiter Raum um Raum
durchschreiten,

an keinem wie an einer Heimat hängen,
der Weltgeist will nicht fesseln uns und
engen,

er will uns Stuf' um Stufe heben, weiten!
Kaum sind wir heimisch einem Lebenskreise
und traulich eingewohnt,
so droht Erschlaffen!


Nur wer bereit zu Aufbruch ist und Reise,
mag lähmender Gewohnheit sich entraffen.
Es wird vielleicht auch noch die Todesstunde
uns neuen Räumen jung entgegen senden:
des Lebens Ruf an uns wird niemals enden.
Wohlan denn, Herz, nimm Abschied und gesunde!

(Hermann Hesse)


Heute habe ich mich von dem ersten Menschen verabschiedet, Henrikke aus meiner Klasse war mit mir in Oslo Eis essen. Sie ist nämlich jetzt mit der Schule fertig und ich werde sie wohl nicht mehr sehen.
Was für ein komisches, unwirkliches Gefühl. All die Dinge, die auf meiner „To-do-Liste“ standen werden nach Möglichkeit abgehakt, endlich habe ich heute Abend zum Beispiel mal eine Carbonara gekocht.
Freitag hört die Schule auf, am Wochenende ist St. Hans, also Mittsommer, und Andrea wird sich verabschieden und aufs Hovefestival fahren. Ida kommt nach ein paar Monaten aus Spanien zurück, andere Leute bereiten sich in Höchsttempo auf Austauschjahre in den USA oder auch in Mexico vor.
Am Wochenende haben wir mit YFU Norwegen abgeschlossen, das nächste Mal treffen wir uns am Flughafen Oslo Gardermoen. In 10 Tagen.

Seltsam.
Wohlan denn, Herz, nimm Abschied und gesunde!

Ein letztes Danke, macht es gut und auf ein baldiges Wiedersehen.
Ich hoffe fest auf neue Abenteuer, die sich lohnen in einem neuen Blog weitergeführt zu werden.

Kuss,
Isabel Iracema

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Hallo Iracema,
heute habe ich noch eine Postkarte an dich losgeschickt und hoffe, dass sie noch ankommt. Ich musste mich zwischen zwei Karten entscheiden. Die, die ich dann NICHT angeschickt habe, passt aber jetzt doch auch irgendwie zu deinem Blogeintrag: "gib deinem Leben die Hand und lass dich überraschen, welche Wege es mit dir geht." In diesem Sinne wünsche ich dir einen guten Weg von Norwegen nach Brühl und darüberhinaus.

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